And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen

Memory Hole

2006-11-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

Autumn In Colorado

2006-09-28T21:50:00.000-06:00

The Party For A Free, Secure, All-White America

2006-09-06T21:18:00.000-06:00

George Allen, Tram Hudson, Rush Limbaugh, Pat Buchanan...the list goes on and on. The Right has been getting reacquainted with its racist nature lately. Not in the unspoken, under-the-surface sense where the federal response to a disaster in a largely minority populated city is painfully slow and then grossly inadequate - that doesn't represent any major change in the longheld beliefs of the Republican party. But in the open, unabashed, old-timey, segregation-loving, macaca-mocking, whites are the "true" Americans, white robe-wearing kind of racism - the Grand Ole Party has kicked things up a notch. Thankfully the mainstream media is there to give many of these people an unchallenged and entirely open forum to disseminate their racist opinions.

In an "And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen" exclusive, I have obtained a copy of a new Republican ad for this fall's election season fresh off its screening in Karl Rove's office. Clearly, the GOP is desperate to turn out its base for the '06 midterm elections and the Republican brain trust is aiming straight for the heart and soul of today's proud Republican. Judge for yourself:

Nedrenalin!

2006-08-08T21:45:00.000-06:00

Ned Lamont has won the primary in Connecticut. This is not just a victory for the "netroots" and "people powered politics."

Tonight's result reflects an increasingly popular desire for the return of accountability. For the return of sanity.

Entrenched power has been asked to make way for those that intend to represent the people. This is democracy at its finest.

The door has been opened and notice has been served to those who have long overstayed their welcome.

And if they won't go quietly into that good night, we may just have to throw the bums out.

Congratulations to the people of Connecticut, those that worked so hard for Ned Lamont and for members of the "reality based community" everywhere.

There is a long road still ahead but tonight...

välkommen hem

2006-07-18T20:09:00.000-06:00

After a very busy 10 days in Sweden, I completed the marathon trip home. Stockholm to Newark to Dallas to Denver. It only took 28 hours. I walked in my apartment to find this in my bathroom:

Water leaked from that hole (partially “repaired” in the above pic) for God knows how long. It took two and a half days for the building owners to get someone out to make the above makeshift patch. Everything I own is moldy and mildewy.

Super.

Sweden was awesome.

There’s always a catch.

More later.

Random

2006-06-28T19:27:00.000-06:00

I'm fried. I haven't had a vacation in quite some time. That changes tomorrow.

First things first, a couple of random items...

The neocons and their merry band of supporters are fond of saying that the "islamofascists" pose an existential threat to the United States. Apparently these fanatics are so cunning, so heartless, so skilled at their trade in killing Westerners that America as we know could cease to exist if they are not confronted in the exact way Bushco sees fit. As a result, we are told that this extraordinary threat can only be avoided if we allow those in power to break as many rules, regulations, protections, laws and treaties as necessary to follow through on their vaguely defined mission of "keeping us safe." This must be quite an enemy we are facing. One would think that these terrorists, with all of the evil-doing they are capable of, would assume that their phones are being tapped and their financial transactions are being monitored. I suppose we are to believe that those capable of such cold calculation and precision execution in carrying out acts of terror were completely unaware that the United States would dream of using such surveillance techniques. But, hey, as Alberto Gonzales informed the Senate, if these guys are aware of such things, they'd probably forget if the press didn't remind them about it.

The "terror cell" that was "planning" an attack on the Sears Tower?

"No weapons, no actual contact with al-Qaeda, but one of them had been to Chicago" - Jon Stewart

I feel safer already.

Finally, if you haven't already done so, go rent the documentary "Why We Fight" immediately. Using a speech by President Eisenhower cautioning against surrender of power to the military-industrial complex as a primer, this film examines U.S. military conflict over the past fifty plus years. This is not a Michael Moore film and features interviews with John McCain, Richard Perle and William Kristol. I hope to write more on this film soon.

One quote that I will take with me, though, comes near the end courtesy of Perle.

"The world has changed and we're not going back to where we were. I find one of the sillier ideas, the notion, and you hear it all the time, that American policy has been hijacked by a handful of people and as soon as they're out of there, we're going to go back to the way it was. They're wrong about that because we are not the same people we were before." - Richard Perle in interview for "Why We Fight"

Indeed. Extra-constitutional executive powers, signing statements, illegal warrantless wiretapping, citizens held without charge or legal representation, torture, preemptive wars based on lies, no accountability.......it doesn't go back to the way it was before Bush took power.

No president will accept less power than his or her predecessor.

Precedent.

Anybody else need a vacation?

Off to Sweden. Maybe I'll post pictures of hot Swedes if it means I'll actually get a hit for the site.........

ABC - Network of the One True God

2006-06-10T15:57:00.000-06:00

Donald McDonald
Chairman, ABC

cc: Mark Scott, ABC General Manager

Dear Mr. McDonald,

I sat down to watch some television last night and found myself doing something I haven’t done much lately, seeing what the networks had going on in “Primetime.” Given the fact that the only shows I care about are now off on their summer hiatus my expectations were pretty low to begin with but, that said, there was simply no way to predict what was waiting for me on ABC. And I don’t mean that in the usual Bush administration kind of way. You know, the “there was no way we could predict that terrorists would use airplanes as weapons” or the “I don’t think anybody anticipated the breech of the levees” kind of way.

No this was much different.

Flipping through the channels, I stopped on NBC first. They were airing the Nightline sting operation on online sexual predators for what I believe was the seventeenth time. Or maybe it was a new episode. It’s difficult to tell since with the exception of new scumbags getting busted, it is the exact same show every time. Here’s to hoping that they expand the concept to use an energy lobbyist in online chat rooms to attract GOP lawmakers willing to craft industry written legislation in exchange for golf trips and campaign contributions only to find themselves busted on live national television. But I digress. My point is, if you’ve seen this show once, you’ve seen enough.

From there, I flipped over to CBS only to find Ricky Lake hosting popular game shows featuring B & C-list celebrities. Ordinarily I would have quickly flipped away but seeing former SNL cast member Tim Meadows, who I have always liked, wearing a baby bonnet and sliding across the stage in a giant playpen was sad to say the least. I could go on about the sadness of watching semi-celebrities desperately grasp at the fading prospects of a career in “entertainment” but, frankly, I don’t care about it that much.

So now I found myself clicking over to ABC. At this point, your network could basically show hockey (honest to God, hockey!) and still take home the night’s ratings crown. But, no, you went a different route. Instead, ABC took it upon themselves to air Billy Graham’s “Celebration of Hope” in its entirety. Capitalizing on the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina, these evangelical Christians created an entire hour of “Jesus TV” that aired uninterrupted on a primetime ABC slot. Even the commercials were for Christian products.

Brilliant.

I want in. Seriously, where do I sign up? I love that you have given such a stage to the vocal minority of Evangelical Christians in this country “hell bent” on the establishment of a theocratic American government. I really believe that their message, the possibility that hurricanes and terror attacks are the results of God’s anger over the sinful notion of granting equal rights to homosexuals and the continued allowance of legal access to an abortion performed by a medical professional, deserves a bigger stage. I have a few ideas that I’d like to pitch.

Now we are all familiar with some of the great programming of late coming from ABC. Of course there are the mega hits “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Desperate Housewives” and “Lost,” among others. Another hit show for ABC has been “Extreme Makeover.” I’ve always found this show to be the feather in the ABC cap. Not only is it a huge hit, it makes a difference. It helps people in their darkest hour of need through positivity and “extreme” generosity. Now generosity, selfless giving, compassion, caring, these are all obviously values of Jesus Christ but I’m worried that “our” (sorry, do you mind if I assume our partnership?) audience is not being exposed to what Evangelicals believe to be another core value of Christ. Hatred for homosexuals. So, with that, I give you:

“Extreme Makeover: Gay Cure Edition!” Every week Ty Pennington and the gang travel to a new town to find some sick, depraved homosexual in order to offer them a new life dedicated to service of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the fitful, tortured suppression of every sexual impulse they have ever known!

"Can I interest you in a future trapped in Jesus’ closet?"

In the same way that “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” uses nothing but the best new household appliances courtesy of Sears, “Extreme Makeover: Gay Cure Edition” would use nothing but the best techniques in gay reparative therapy to help these sinners turn away from homosexuality and embrace a new, loving, totally heterosexual relationship with Jesus Christ. In the pilot episode, Ty could lead a sea of Promise Keepers in tank tops and hard hats toward an unsuspecting homosexual sitting on his front porch and finishing his morning latte while flipping through a Pottery Barn catalogue. Maybe Ty could instruct the young man to savagely beat a pillow with a tennis racket while screaming the name of his estranged mother. This is, apparently, a cutting edge technique in the new field of gay reparative therapy.

“Extreme Makeover Gay Cure Edition” would segue nicely into a gritty new drama called “Gay Panic” named after the criminal defense strategy employed by the two young men who would later be convicted of severely beating Matthew Shepherd and leaving him for dead, tied to a fence in a remote Wyoming field. In “Gay Panic,” two young detectives fresh off their own successful completion of gay reparative therapy regiments will travel to liberal, coastal locations like Boston or San Francisco to infiltrate homosexual groups in ways only formerly gay men know how to do in order to track the movements of prospective gay marriage candidates. After a certain period of undercover work, the detectives will reveal themselves and offer the homosexuals a chance to heal. In accordance with the wishes of the Lord almighty Himself, the detectives will beat and leave for dead any homosexual that rejects the therapy as a symbolic precursor for the fate that awaits these sinners in the pits of eternal hellfire. I don’t know about you but I’m smelling a Golden Globe here.

As I’m sure you know Fox has scored a huge hit with their series “24.” I’m thinking the next Evangelical series in the ABC line-up should play off of the current popularity of tense, terror-based serials. We can call it “Ezekiel 25:17”. For this series, we turn conventional wisdom on its ear, Focus on the Family style. Our “Jack Bauer” character, instead of being the hero trying to save the day from Muslim terrorists, is a different kind of “idealist.” He’s an unwitting slave to the memes pushed by the secular, Jew-run media. Instead of allowing the hero, the “Eric Rudolph” character, to complete the righteous mission handed to him by the Almighty to end the fetus Holocaust through the righteous bombing of abortion clinics, the liberal Satanist attempts to foil these plots. The show will be perceived as “cutting edge” since the “good guy” is actually the bad guy and “bad guy” is actually the good guy. Set to a pulsing soundtrack of the best that Christian music has to offer, from rock bands like “Metal With Beatitude” to even a swing band called “Destroying Sodom In Fedoras,” each week a plot to a bomb a new abortion clinic unfolds with the audience praying that our “Eric Rudolph” character will be able to complete his mission. Hello coveted 18-40 year old male demographic tuning in to see the Lord’s fiery explosions of justice!

Now I know that your network has scored another huge hit in “Grey’s Anatomy” by appealing to the immoral, depraved fornicators that make up generations “X & Y” but I think there is room in the line-up for another medicine-based drama. This show is called “Prescription of Faith” and features medical professionals actually working to cure and heal people but without sacrificing the true vision of Christ in the process. Each week will feature a handful of difficult scenarios but instead of the faithless liberal doctors that seek to help everyone equally, “Faith” will depict Evangelical doctors whose copy of the Bible is just important as their copy of Gray’s Anatomy. And in this world, “life partners” don’t have visiting rights and it doesn’t matter if you are married or not, there are no birth control pills. Finally, we will be able to watch a medical drama featuring the one true cure for what ails you, the Good News of Jesus Christ.

"No, its not menopause. Its Satan."

I’d like to switch gears for a second, if I may. A popular trend on television that has evolved over the last decade of so has come to be known as “reality television” and I don’t want to leave today’s Christian Evangelicals out of the mix. Now I’m sure you know that NBC has achieved a decent amount of success in capitalizing on the bulging belt line of today’s average American with the show “The Biggest Loser.” Several overweight people are selected to compete against each other by seeing who can lose as much weight as possible over a certain amount of time. This certainly isn’t a bad concept as far as the average television fare in our modern sinful, Godless network television world is concerned. There is one thing lacking, however. The biggest motivator of all. Jesus. With that I give you, “The Biggest Winner.”

“The Biggest Winner” will feature Christ-based motivation to help end the “battle of the bulge” by saying no to Satan and his offering of a second helping of lukewarm mozzarella sticks from the Country Buffet. And who better to motivate these weak-willed Godless souls than Pat Robertson! Trust me, it is a natural fit, he already has his line of energy bars and has recently declared his ability to leg press a ton. No, literally, a ton. Who better to minister to the needs of the overweight than a 73 year old man that can leg press over 700 pounds more than the recorded world record? Product tie-ins will help to increase ad revenue as contestants consume nothing but Pat Robertson energy bars and workout on elliptical riders featuring recorded encouragements of James Dobson and Tony Perkins.

"Weak-willed secular humanists reading a Michael Moore book can ride faster than that on the same day they’ve had a late term abortion and protested your right to pray! Faster!"

Tying in with the Pat Robertson commitment for the “Biggest Winner” is the opportunity for a revitalization of the “Charlie’s Angels” series. Rather than featuring scantily clad fornicators clearly refusing to take abstinence pledges this show will feature Ann Coulter, Laura Ingraham & Michelle Malkin. The show is tentatively titles “Shut Up, Or You’ll Miss the Treasonous Wails of Anchor Babies.” Ok, we’re still working on the title. Each week, Pat Robertson as the voice of the “Charlie” character, “calls” in to the ladies with a new, top secret mission. The pilot episode will feature a well-planned assassination attempt on Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez in a God-sanctioned smiting for his refusal in the face of CIA-sponsored coup plots to stop directing some of the money from his country’s thriving oil trade toward projects benefiting the millions of Venezuelans that live in poverty and for committing the Cardinal Sin of threatening to trade in “Petrol-Euros” rather than “Petrol-Dollars.” Coulter, Ingraham & Malkin will swoop into the television studios where Chavez films his weekly TV show and will carry out the assassination while violently competing with each other to see who can deliver the most vacuous, disingenuous, vitriolic political commentary to be aired by any network seeking to escape the baseless charge of being liberally biased.

There is no bigger sin in the eyes of God than a foreign country's president refusing to sign over his natural resources to American corporations.

I hope that you will consider these new programs. It takes a certain level of bravery to pander to the basest elements of a vocal fringe minority. I appreciate what is obviously a concerted effort to do just that.

Yours In Christ,

Bentz

A Couple of Questions

2006-06-02T17:46:00.000-06:00

The Bush administration believes in the power of the unitary executive, that the President stands "above all equals." The President has claimed broad, "extra-constitutional powers" in order to better "protect" Americans. Under these auspices, the executive branch has claimed the powers to "eavesdrop" on American citizens without a warrant. To collect all phone records, bank records, email records, library records of anybody they deem a "threat." Additionally, the President has claimed the authority to effectively operate outside of the law via "signing statements" that he believes allow him to conduct the "war on terror" outside of any binding Congressional oversight. In other words, if he views a law as an impediment, he can circumvent that law as the "Commander In Chief." Additionally, anyone deemed a "terror threat," regardless of their citizenship, can be held indefinitely, without charge or access to an attorney for an indefinate period.

Where does this end?

I don't mean that in a "slippery slope" kind of way. I mean, at what point is it no longer necessary for the President of the United States, any president from any political party, to exercise extra-constitutional authority?

Will there be a time when the officially undeclared "war on terror" against an undefined enemy (an enemy that operates outside of international borders) comes to an end? Will the President call a press conference and appear by the White House Rose Garden with his foot triumphantly on the chest of the dead body of the last terrorist and declare the end of the threat to all Americans? Will he/she then forfeit the power the executive branch has seized beyond the boundaries of the Constitution, power that has been used under the veil of secrecy and outside of any discernable oversight?

Will there ever be an end to the War on Terror?

Does this genie go back in the bottle?

Or did 9/11 really "change everything?"

Have the terrorists already won?

note: The second to last sentence of the first paragraph was added in an edit shortly after the initial posting.

Memorial Day

2006-05-28T13:52:00.000-06:00

My thanks. My admiration. My respect.

update - yes I know that the true intent of Memorial Day is to honor those members of our armed forces that have fallen in service to their country. Both of my grandfathers served proudly. Both have died recently and I choose to use remember their proud contributions in defense of our country on this day.

Swimming Upstream

2006-05-25T23:30:00.000-06:00

A big problem for the left for as far back as I can remember has been the need to constantly swim upstream against the torrent of shit unleashed by the right. Say what you will about right wingers in America, they have got their shit together in terms of their PR machine, the dissemination of talking points and keeping the group on message. The left, in general, have been getting their asses handed to them in this arena.

How can we possibly hope to compete in the marketplace of ideas when we appear to be behind before the game starts? How can we effectively debate issues of national security when conventional wisdom says that we are weak, ineffective, indecisive and possibly treasonous from the outset? Now of course that argument is demonstrably false, malicious, intellectually bankrupt horseshit but our side hasn’t been able to eradicate these memes from the public discourse. It’s bad enough that the right repeats this stuff incessantly but the fact that the corporate media (the so called “liberal media”) acts as a conduit and some weak-kneed Democrats dutifully internalize them is what allows these ideas to stick in the back of people’s minds.

Clearly it is important for Democrats to challenge conventional wisdom in order for them to hope to be in a position to turn things around. This is not an earth shattering revelation by any means. I simply thought it would be useful to compile a list of conventional wisdom, memes, slogans and, basically, the bullshit generated by the right over the last several years that has been gleefully shoveled by the media into the giant pile of manure that is American politics.

Again, a lot of this is fairly obvious to anyone that has been even passively observing politics and the media in this country for the last several years. It is, however, a fairly sobering thing to see these things together in one place. This list is by no means comprehensive. I’m sure there are some glaring omissions(likely because I have been going over this list for too long). I’m sure my legions of dedicated readers will add a lot of their own items to the list.

**A big hat tip to my friend Mr. Doggity, a big contributor to the Al Franken Show blog in its first year, who compiled a large portion of this list. I’ve done some rearranging and editing and added some things of my own but I am standing on his shoulders with this post**

UPDATE - I'd also like to point out that pieces of this list were put together from other lists throughout the blogosphere. Specifically, John Aravosis' AMERICAblog & Peter Daou's The Daou Report should be singled out for recognition.

Franklin D. Roosevelt was a communist and a terrible president.
Jimmy Carter used to be a waffler, now he's a traitor.
Walter Mondale is a flip-flopper.
Michael Dukakis is a waffler.
Ronald Reagan was the best president in history.
The media is liberal.
Bill Clinton is a flip-flopper.
Hillary Clinton murdered Vince Foster.
Bill & Hillary Clinton are radical leftists.
Al Gore is a waffler.
Al Gore claimed he invented the internet.
Al Gore is boring, stiff and wonky.
George W. Bush is a great guy to have a beer with.
George W. Bush is a Texan.
George Bush was a successful businessman.
Bush won Florida in 2000.
Losing by 2 million votes in 2000 is a mandate.
This administration will hold itself accountable.
Bush will restore honor and integrity to the White House.
The Clinton administration trashed the White House before the Bush administration took over.
Bush will make health insurance affordable for low-income families.
The Healthy Forests Initiative will help forests.
No Child Left Behind will help children.
The Clear Skies Initiative will reduce air pollution.
Republicans are compassionate conservatives.
It is executive privilege not to reveal the members of the energy task force.
Vice President Cheney no longer has ties with Halliburton.
Bush is not that familiar with Ken “Kenny Boy” Lay.
There is no global warming.
There is global warming, but humans aren't causing it.
If there is global warming, it's actually good for us.
There are legitimate scientists who dispute the "liberal" theories about global warming.
Sex education causes STDs and increases pregnancy rates.
HPV vaccine will cause teen sex cults.
Unemployment numbers have never been so low.
Outsourcing will create more jobs.
The vast majority of Bush's tax cuts go to the bottom end of the spectrum.
Tax breaks for Hummers are good for the economy.
Tax cuts increase federal revenue.
The estate tax hurts family farms.
Privatizing Social Security will save Social Security.
Citizens will earn more money for retirement with “private accounts.”
Republican proposals to change Social Security are not plans to “privatize.”
They are not “private accounts,” they are “personal accounts.”
The budget deficit will be cut in half in four years.
The economy is doing great.
Nothing is more important in a time of war than cutting taxes.
Bill Clinton is responsible for 9/11.
Bill Clinton was offered Bin Laden on a silver platter and turned it down.
No one could have anticipated airplanes flying into buildings.
We have removed the Taliban from Afghanistan.
Pat Tillman was killed by enemy fire.
They hate us for our freedom.
The creation of a department specializing in Domestic Security isn’t necessary.
Refusing to support the creation of a new Department of Homeland Security is anti-American.
The Patriot Act is needed to protect Americans.
Giving up some freedoms is necessary to defend freedom.
"Bin Laden Determined to Strike within the U.S." was a historical document.
You're either with us or against us.
We don’t want the smoking gun to be in the form of a mushroom cloud.
The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.
Anyone who leaks information will no longer be a part of this administration.
There can be no doubt that Saddam has reconstituted his WMD program.
The only way to get Zarqawi is to invade Iraq.
Saddam Hussein attacked us on 9/11.
We're fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them here.
Critics of the war are liberal, left-wing radicals.
Opposition to the war gives aid and comfort to the enemy.
Democrats hate America.
Dissent is unpatriotic.
The Iraqis will welcome us with open arms and flowers.
It could take six days, six weeks - I doubt six months.
Several hundred thousand troops is wildly off the mark.
Democrats voted for the war too.
Iraq is the central front on the war on terrorism.
Yellow ribbon magnets on your car mean you support the troops.
Iraqi oil will pay for the war and the reconstruction.
US liability for the war shouldn’t be more than a billion dollars.
Saddam would not let the weapons inspectors in the country.
Saddam would not let the weapons inspectors do their jobs.
There is a large international coalition participating in “Operation Iraqi Freedom.”
We know where the WMD are. They’re in the area around Baghdad and Tikrit and north, south, west and east somewhat.
Those trucks we found in Iraq were mobile biological weapons labs.
Iraq sent its WMDs to Syria.
Mission accomplished.
The violence is the result of a few Baathist dead-enders.
The insurgency is in its last throes.
Bring It On.
No one could have anticipated the Iraqi insurgency.
There is no civil war in Iraq.
We've turned a corner in Iraq.
A spike in violence in Iraq is a sign of American success as insurgents resist positive changes.
A decline in violence in Iraq is indicative of American success in getting a handle on Iraqi security.
If our military commanders need more troops, all they have to do is ask for them.
Abu Ghraib was the result of “a few bad apples.”
There is no need for a bill banning the use of torture.
We do not torture.
A “signing statement” freeing the executive branch from having to follow a law is necessary during a time of war.
Progress as a result of the “historic” pass of sovereignty, formation of government, election in Iraq will be seen in the next 6 to 8 months.
When they stand up, we'll stand down.
A plan to withdraw troops is defeatist.
U.S. beliefs that Iraq had WMD was an intelligence lapse.
The WMD mistakes were made in good faith.
Congress had access to the same intelligence on Iraq.
The Founding Fathers were Christians.
George W. Bush is a Christian man.
America is a Christian nation.
There is a war on Christmas.
There is a war on Easter.
Democrats and the ACLU want to ban the bible.
Democrats and the ACLU want to make it illegal to pray.
Bush was elected by “values voters.”
Dems struggle to attract “values voters.”
Jesus would have voted for Bush.
Gay marriage threatens the sanctity of marriage.
Republicans are pro-life.
Democrats are the party of death.
Evolution isn't supported by the facts.
There are legitimate scientists who dispute the "liberal" theories about evolution.
Man existed alongside the dinosaurs.
The earth is 6,000 years old.
Terry Schiavo wanted to live.
Michael Schiavo wanted to murder his wife.
Michael Schiavo abused his wife.
Terry Schiavo can laugh, smile & communicate.
Terry Schiavo can recover.
The country is 'bitterly divided' over the Schiavo controversy.
George W. Bush is a war hero. John Kerry isn't.
John Kerry shot himself in the leg to earn his medals.
Max Cleeland blew off his own limbs.
Bush is a war president.
Bush is a popular president.
The Democrats are weak on national security
Bush critics are 'shrill,' 'angry,' 'bitter’
John Kerry was against the $87 million before he was for it.
John Kerry is a flip-flopper.
John Kerry outed Mary Cheney.
Howard Dean is insane.
Diebold voting machines are secure.
Fox News is fair and balanced.
Jeff Gannon is a journalist.
Bill O’Reilly looks out for you by cutting through the spin to get to the truth.
Chris Matthews will not let anything get by him.
Tim Russert asks the tough questions.
Dan Rather got what was coming to him.
No one could have anticipated the breech of the levies.
Kathleen Blanco never asked for federal help.
Ray Nagin should have used the buses.
All of the president’s nominations should be given an “up or down vote.”
John Roberts would be a great Supreme Court justice.
Harriet Miers would be a great Supreme Court justice.
Harriet Miers is the best candidate to fill the Supreme Court vacancy.
It is not necessary to give Harriet Miers an immediate “up or down vote.”
Sam Alito is the best candidate to fill the Supreme Court vacancy.
It is the duty of Congress to approve the President’s nominations.
Tom DeLay is decent Christian businessman.
The Delay investigation is the result of a rabidly partisan prosecutor.
Nobody at the White House knows Jack Abramoff.
Democrats took money from Jack Abramoff too.
The Corruption scandals are bipartisan.
The 9/11 plot would have been discovered with the NSA domestic spying program.
Press reports about warrantless wire tapping undermines American national security.
Bill Clinton did it too.
Democrats don't want to wiretap terrorists.
Whenever we say "wiretap," that means we're going to get a court order.
The government is tapping your phone to protect you.
Leaks of classified information authorized by the President are ok because he can de-classify anything at will.
Leaks of classified information to the press by a whistleblower to expose illegal activity are treasonous and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
You cannot have Civil Liberties if you are dead.
Anyone who thinks Dubai shouldn't control our ports is racist.
No one who thinks we should build a wall along the Mexican border is racist.
The national anthem should only be sung in English.
Mexicans must be stopped from taking jobs Americans won't do.
George W. Bush is a decider.
Dick Cheney is a sober shooter.
Joe Wilson admitted that Valerie Plame wasn't covert.
Valerie Plame is a traitor.
Joseph Wilson is a traitor.
Patrick Fitzgerald is going to indict Joe Wilson.
Karl Rove has a faulty memory.
Scooter Libby has a faulty memory.
Gas prices are high because of liberal environmentalists.
Gas prices are high because of taxes.
Drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge will lower the price of oil.
High gas prices are the result of increased global demand.
Capping gas prices interferes with the free market.
Gas is still cheaper in America than in Europe.
Windfall taxes on high oil company profits is socialism.
It’s surprising that Bush’s poll numbers are so low since people like him so much.
Basically everybody likes the president except for a few wackos on the left.
George Bush doesn't read the polls.
The Democrats are in disarray.
The Democrats are struggling to take advantage of opportunities even with a weakened GOP.
Some Democrat party insiders are concerned the party is too liberal.
Some Democrat party insiders say Howard Dean is destroying the party.
Howard Dean can't raise money.
The Republican Party is the party of ideas.
Democrats lack new ideas.
Democrats are struggling to articulate ideas.
Democrats take a political hit criticizing Bush when he has strong poll numbers.
Democrats look like they are “piling on” if they criticize Bush when he has weak poll numbers.
Al Gore is an angry madman.
John McCain is a maverick.
John McCain is a straight shooter.
Hillary Clinton will be the Democrat nominee in 2008.

Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia.

War is Peace.
Freedom is Slavery.
Ignorance is Strength.

A Proud Day for Coloradoans

2006-05-24T17:05:00.000-06:00

In addition to her tireless work as a fear-mongering GOP shill for the basest elements of American fundamentalist religious radicals with her sponsorship of an amendment to the U.S. Constitution banning same-sex marriage, representative Marilyn Musgrave (R-CO) can now add “endorsed by the KKK” to her list of accolades. The Knights party, an affiliate of the Ku Klux Klan has posted an endorsement of Musgrave on their website after her introduction of “The Home School Non-Discrimination Act of 2005.” (An apparent pillar of the white supremacist platform?)

“And we will raise our stock HIGH!”

And, in an “And The Clocks Were Striking Thirteen Exclusive,” I have it on good authority (though still officially unconfirmed) that fellow congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO), busy working on what has been described as a “final solution to the Mexican immigrant problem,” is green with envy over the Klan’s endorsement of Musgrave. A despondent Tancredo was heard muttering to nobody in particular “Just what the fuck does one have to do get some recognition around here?” after biting the head off the infant son of a migrant worker and casually tossing the lifeless body in the trashcan.

…developing…

Mission Accomplished

2006-05-01T19:07:00.000-06:00

Three years ago today the Preznit landed on an aircraft carrier wearing a codpiece and declared an end to "major combat operations" in Iraq.

"That's right, Iceman, I'm dangerous!"

Since then, over 2200 American soldiers have been killed and another 17,000 wounded. There are around 75 insurgent attacks in Iraq every day and, to date, the cost of the war has exceeded $300 billion.

War! It's Fantastic!

I'm sure that we are turning the corner and that the insurgency is now in its last throes. Serious this time.

Happy Anniversary.

Witness

2006-04-24T19:37:00.000-06:00

Apparently Kirk Cameron has solid, irrefutable video evidence supporting the theory of Intelligent Design. Truthseekers rejoice!

Oh, yeah. Right there. Feel the power of the Lord! A little lower. A little to the left. Middle...get the middle. Yeah. Mount Sinai. Red Sea. The Temple. A little left....little left. Tower of Babel. Just joking. Kind of.

The First Casualty of War Is Innocence

2006-04-24T18:29:00.000-06:00

Only faggoty, French-looking, terrorist-appeasing hippies would piss on the celebration of Jesus Christ by refusing to hide Cadbury eggs around their lawn for children to collect in fake grass-lined baskets.

War on Easter?

Special thanks to my friend Healy of the soon-to-be animation juggernaut "Kanimation" for creating the above image. He's like huge in Belgium.

I Love My Life

2006-04-21T19:10:00.000-06:00

Friday afternoon is without a doubt my favorite time of the week. The promise of the weekend grows exponentially with each passing minute upon returning from lunch. Work is finished up for the week in between phone calls and emails from friends wondering about the weekend’s plans. And there doesn’t even have to be plans – hell, I’m fighting the urge to do cartwheels down the hallway and passed the receptionist on the way to elevators for the prospect of lying on the couch and watching golf all weekend. Every mundane, safe, pointless “office” conversation wondering if I’m “having fun yet” or “working hard or hardly working” which ordinarily makes me want to smash the office windows with a computer monitor and throw a northwest region operations specialist screaming eight stories down to the lightrail tracks below becomes a little easier to deal with on a Friday afternoon.

It’s been a particularly long week at work and I’m a little more fired up than usual for the weekend. The weather has been perfect in Denver lately, mid 70s, sunny. So I navigated my way through the thick Denver traffic, picked up a burger and fries and twelve pack of beer on my way home. I’m treating myself and the girlfriend is away with family obligations so I have the night to myself.

Home is a somewhat rundown apartment near Washington Park, one of the most popular areas of the Denver metro-area with neighborhood bars and restaurants that bring a strange mix of young professional singles and thirty-something families. So I pulled down the alley and parked in my regular space behind the apartment building. Juggling my backpack, food, beer and keys I clumsily struggled to unlock the back door. Right as I got the door open, I heard a fairly loud whistle from a window above. A catcall type of whistle. Not that I’m completely lacking in confidence in my appearance but I’m fairly certain the whistle wasn’t for me. There’s just something about being a thirty year-old bald guy with a goatee that doesn’t elicit much in the way of catcalls from other guys. So I look up to try and see who was whistling and look around to see who he was whistling at.

At this point, I have a bit of a smirk on my face. I’ve always laughed at guys that whistle or honk or yell out “Hey baby!” to random women walking down the street. I’ve always wondered just exactly what goes through a guy’s mind before he does something like that. Does he really think it will work? Does he think the woman will ditch whoever she’s walking with and walk up to a complete stranger and comment about how though there are many men that dare to whistle at her every day there’s nobody that does it quite as well as he does?

At any rate, I find myself holding the door open with my leg, arms full, a smirk on my face and looking down the alley for who the mystery whistler was whistling at. I was just in time to see a very pretty young woman in her mid-twenties jump up from the bent over position she was in while grabbing something out of the backseat of her car. She immediately looked back toward my building and locked eyes with me. Glaring at me, she shut her car door and walked away shaking her head.

I love my life.

"Well don't I feel like the fucking asshole."

Rocky Mountain National Park, Summer 2005

2006-04-20T19:47:00.000-06:00

1984?

2006-04-19T23:17:00.000-06:00

“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen” – opening sentence of George Orwell’s “1984.”

Hoisting his "Italian-made Perazzi 28-gauge shotgun" to his shoulder as he wheeled his body around to face quail scared up from the thick grass, the Vice President of the United States took aim and fired. Struck by birdshot in the face, neck and chest, Harry Whittington, Republican booster and friend to the Vice President, immediately dropped to the ground, seriously wounded. Several days later, having recovered from being shot by the second most powerful man in the world, a bruised and battered, 78 year-old Whittington emerged from Christus Spohn Memorial Hospital in Corpus Christi, Texas and delivered a statement to the group of reporters that had gathered outside. In the statement Whittington counted his blessings and thanked his doctors for their caring and "exceptional" treatment. Oh, and he apologized...to the man that shot him.

"My family and I are deeply sorry for all that vice president Cheney has had to go through this past week. We send our love and respect to them as they deal with situations that are much more serious than what we’ve had this week."

How powerful do you have to be to shoot somebody in the face with a shotgun only to have the shooting victim apologize to you for the inconvenience? Seriously.

With all that has happened in this country over the last several years I was beginning to believe that there wasn't much left that could actually surprise me. A stolen 2000 election, a horrifying terrorist attack, the squandering of global good will and cooperation, the failed hunt for the mastermind behind the attacks that murdered 3,000 Americans, a destructive and disasterous war based on lies, thousands of dead and wounded American soldiers, a hundred thousand dead Iraqis, hundreds of billions of dollars wasted, huge tax cuts for the rich, corporate cronyism run amok, the reelection of a President that ignored a daily briefing titled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US,” the American government torturing, wire-tapping, spying on its own citizens, a major American city wiped off the map due to gross negligence while the President vacationed .......... etc, etc, etc. It was as if, after years of this type of shit, my capacity to truly be surprised had completely eroded. Outrage, anger, indignation, depression, sadness, anxiety - all of that was and is still present but the prospect of something happening that would somehow arouse an inkling of surprise seemed impossible by early 2006.

And yet there I sat staring at the teevee, dumfounded. As the VPOTUS was ~~fellated~~ interviewed by Brit Hume on Fox News one could almost hear the violin accompaniment as Cheney’s harrowing ordeal was described. It was as if I was seeing the official formation of the totalitarian dystopia imagined in many of the books and movies of my childhood. Alright, so maybe that’s a bit hyperbolic but there is a feeling that I haven’t been able to escape. A sort of helplessness as I watch everything around me seemingly devolve into madness. Every news program on teevee, every newspaper article, every politician’s speech, every corporate press release – it is beyond bullshit. It has surpassed the wink and a smile, business as usual territory and begun to take on a more sinister likeness. At least in my opinion.

What is the story being pushed by "the party?" Am I witnessing "Winston Smith's" handiwork?

I guess that is where this blog comes from – I think that I might like to write about these things - and anything else I am interested in for that matter. I don’t want to label it, whatever “it” is. This is simply an exercise I’m feeling the need to try. Maybe I’ll stick with it this time. Who knows?

Maybe the 1984 imagery is premature and over-the-top but I’m nervous about the path “we” have chosen. That path, in my estimation, seems to be headed straight for fascism and this country seems to be willingly, happily, “patriotically” going along for the ride. We may not be “there” yet but we certainly appear to be on our way. For what its worth, these are my thoughts.

“Fascism doesn’t start with concentration camps. That’s where it ends.”